A message from 'The Idiot'.
Hi Guys,
Over the past 15 months I have made a point of talking about Prostate Cancer with as many blokes as possible. Although most will say they are aware of the potential problem, some even have known of friends who have suffered and died, very few (none) have actually done anything to ensure they are not/will no be victims’
I sincerely hope the following real life experience will make every one of you get down the doctors for a PSA blood test. Yes that is all it takes a simple blood test not even the greased finger up the jacksy. The average PSA is 4 when I finally stopped being a bloody idiot and got tested mine was an alarm bell ringing 26.
Prostate Cancer is one of the easiest to diagnose and treat yet it (2008 figures) kills 10,168 men it that year, that’s 12% or all male cancers deaths and is only 2nd to lung cancer. Do the sums and that is one bloke dying every hour.
The main reason for the high mortality rate being that so many blokes are complete idiots (like myself) and don’t take note/do something at the first warning signs.
What is the Prostate –?It is a walnut sized thing that the pee tube from the bladder passes through to exit at the willy. The two sperm tubes from the balls also join the pee tube in the prostate (sorry about the technical jargon). You could call it the Clapham Junction for all routes to the willy.
What are the warning signs-?
Loss of pressure when having a pee
Frequent need to have a pee
Only being able to manage a dribble each time – I became over a period of 12 months a dab hand at jumping into the back of the cab and having to have a dribble into a bottle between jobs, sometimes twice an hour.
Reduced ability to ejaculate or not being able to ejaculate. I blamed the wife for this one and how wrong was I.
Well after some 18 months of ignoring all the warning signs – doing that blokish thing and just finding ways round the problem to compensate for the bloody obvious. It all came to a climax when walking back to the cab after having a coffee with my accountant (we all have to see them once a year) the front of my jeans suddenly became quite warm and a darker shade than normal. On arriving home my wife (a quiet person by nature) went bloody ballistic and in no uncertain terms told me to “get down the doctors and get myself sorted out.
Next day she went of to work I now had two choices, make that appointment or spend the whole day (in-between umpteen visits to the toilet) removing every ornament (potential missile) to the garden shed.
Off to the docs I went and suddenly found myself caught up in the fantastic machine that is our National Health Service. Had an urgent blood test, appointment with a consultant at East Surrey Hospital within days and the operation called a TURP a few days later.
It turned out it was not a case of not being able to hold me water but that I could hold it better than most. My prostate had squeezed my pee tube to a virtual closure so my bladder had to be full to bursting (which it came very close to doing) before a dribble could get passed.
The TURP in short is drilling a bigger hole through the prostate so I can now pee like a horse and go several hours without needing the loo. However it did bugger up the plumbing from the testicles a bit. After a week or so I just had to try the ejaculation stuff out. Well it responded all the sensations were there and so was that final relief satisfaction. But no ejaculation as it all back flushed up into the bladder, hey ho sex without the mess could save a fortune on boxes of tissues.
How much of an idiot was I?
Due to my own stupidity the cancer had burst out of the prostate and into the lymph nodes below so now I have been on female hormone implants for 14 months. That’s chemical castration (so no tissues required) menopausal hot flushes (still waiting for that female ability to multitask – think it is a myth). Due to start radio therapy on the 18th that’s then every day Mon-Fri for two months.
I can only blame myself for being so stupid WHO are you going to blame as some 50% of blokes will experience some form of prostate problem.
I do not want to receive any sympathy replies; I am quite capable of crying in my own beer. What I would really like is to hear that every male member has booked that blood test. Don’t be a bloody idiot.
BTW at no time did I experience (after the trip to the docs) any pain so relax it may be a tender and much loved part of you so take care of it.
Please Please,
ReplyDeleteTake that post seriously,My own situation was something similar except in my case I felt a small lump come in my neck,In my heart i had a feeling it may be cancer but found a million reasons what else it may be,Partly through fear and partly through how could i afford to take time off.stupidly i thought the lump was small and it would go away,Luckily for me i got pissed and told a friend about it,they told my family and i was forced to go to the doctors,My world came crashing down when they diagnosed Non Hodgkins Lymphoma,Its a killer but if caught like most cancers now can be treated,As one of the doctors said at the time,We are getting bloody good at this cancer lark,in fact better daily,So i had chemo,that at first had no response,then i had a stronger dose,and am now in part remission,It puts a bit of perspective in your life,I dont work nearly as hard as i used to,But 5 years later i am still here,We still have holidays,we still eat and pay the bills,But most of all i have had 5 more years and hopefully many more watching my family and friends grow,So guys and girls at the first sign of any lumps bumps or abnormalities,get to the doctors,I have also realised your family need you more than any money you may be bringing in.I am here and not just a memory which i would have been if it had been left to me,so PLEASE PLEASE get it checked
All the very best to you both.
ReplyDeleteTake heed the rest of us!